Recap Of Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas Episode Two: “You’re not needed in the Cabaret”

I’m back to recap “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” and once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching episode two yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode two. Ready? Let’s get started…….

Episode Two: “You’re not needed in the Cabaret”

The episode starts where it left off last week. Ms. Wet Wet is getting her behind whooped by Amber…and I do mean, whooped! Security is trying to separate them, they are both wigless, Ms. Wet Wet kicks Amber in the chest with her high heel on…

Well, she had to do something, because despite having all that mouth, Ms. Wet Wet can’t fight her way out of a wet paper bag, smh. I’m not a fighter either so I get it, Im’ma do what I gotta do when I’m defending myself, but it wasn’t a good look Ms. Wet Wet. How you gone start something you can’t finish?

Ms. Wet Wet is battered and bloody still talking mess though…well at least she is keeping the same energy. It’s stupid but she is consistent, lol. In the may lay Raven picks up Ms. Wet Wet’s wig and puts it on, lol. They got them separated and on opposite sides of the room. The girls are criticizing Amber’s decision to fight since they have just gotten there, and she is screaming she doesn’t care!

Amber asks our favorite security guard, The Guardian of Zeus, if her wig is okay…hey Guardian, nice to see you again! Yawl remember, I call the older big security guard that. I wish I knew his name since we always see him in the mix, I hope he gets paid handsomely for this! Amber is yelling threats at Ms. Wet Wet who is across the room responding with a mouth full of blood…so let me get this straight, a epic beat down is still not enough to shut you up? This girl is crazy.

She is completely unfazed and over in her side of the room with her dress pulled down, exposing her breasts, jumping up and down talking about, her breasts actually bounce…

Where? Here you are jumping and them mugs are barely moving…lol. But okay sis, your tits are bouncing, and I bet the camera man is entertained but I was bored with her stupid antics. She tells the girls to give her tits a round of applause…nobody does because that would be stupid.

Lexi Blow tries to get her to go into the bathroom and clean her bloody mouth but of course she refuses, why? She wants attention.

Amber is in her corner ranting to Chanel Tso who is trying to get her to calm down. She says she wants to go again. Chanel and ReRe are asking her not to, but Amber is still heated. Lexi Blow doesn’t want any of the girls to keep drinking, lol.

Chanel tells Amber that her behavior is too much, and she goes off saying her thousand-dollar wig was snatched off…ummm if you paid a thousand dollars for that? Somebody got over on you Amber! She says she needs to keep snatching Ms. Wet Wet’s wig until they are even. She goes on and on…and rather than Chanel walking off, she entertains it.

Amber says her p***y is sweating, and demands tissue, then wipes between her legs…

Yuck. Why the heck did Zeus show us that?

Now ReRe is over on the side of the room with Ms. Wet Wet who is rather jovial for someone who just got the floor mopped up with her, if you ask me. ReRe is trying to get her to stop her delusional ranting, but no such luck because remember Ms. Wet Wet is on a suicidal mission to be heard and seen, and rather than ignore her ReRe wants to entertain it. Ms. Wet Wet finally gets ReRe to leave her alone…good, just ignore her, geez!

Chanel calls Joseline and tells her about the fight, and Joseline is pissed. She tells Chanel that this is not season two. She tells Chanel to put whoever she needs to put in their place. She is determined to hold Chanel responsible for the girls. She tells her she could be gone as well because she and Lexi did things she didn’t like as well. Chanel looks somewhat shocked. She says at the reunion they set back and didn’t stick up for her and she apparently aint forgave or forgot, lol. She wants Chanel to have her back or get gone…she says Chanel needs to settle that because she will be there in twenty minutes. Chanel says confidently, “I got you”….now yawl remember she said that…

Amber is with hair and makeup but within earshot when she hears Chanel call everybody for a meeting. She says she just got off the phone with Joseline and she knows what happened. She tells them they have a real opportunity and acting an ass on television before Joseline even gets here is a bad reflection on all of them because this is their first impression…well why she say that?

Amber is now out the chair and in the room yelling at Chanel because of the “acting an ass on television” comment as if she wasn’t just acting an ass. And Chanel backs all the way down…

What the heck is going on here Chanel? I thought you said to Joseline you got her back? And here you are letting Amber’s bully ass, check you like she is the one I charge of the girls.

FOH.

Amber may be from Chiraq and trust me we respect that. But Chanel you from Compton…boss up on her! But Amber got Chanel all the way together for no reason and the girls are all watching and losing respect for her. And what does Lexi Blow do? She says nothing she just looks like the others do.

Chanel tells them Joseline will be there I twenty minutes and she is already talking about sending people home. And Amber tells her she needs to be the one to go. And Chanel once again punks out…this is sad to watch a grown woman be a damm mark!

Chanel offends the other girls by saying she wasn’t referring to one, she meant everybody has been cutting up…

When?!! Chanel if you don’t tell this lady to get the eff out…but Chanel keeps trying to appease a pissed off Amber who now that she knows Chanel wont bust a grape, keeps bullying her.

FOH.

Because nobody says jack as they should I understand minding your own, But Lexi should have at least said something! Arent yawl both in charge? And here Chanel is being talked to crazy and Lexi aint said nada, zilch, nothing.

Now the girls need to get touch ups because remember they are at a photo shoot, it may be one from hell, but it is still a photo shoot. Whew!

Lollipop and K.Kapri are the only ones really making a fuss about Amber and Ms. Wap Wap being the real problem…duh! Who just fought, Chanel? This just dumb. We clearly see who is starting mess!

Amber starts saying things about Joseline because she is upset and talking too much if you ask me. Chanel takes her to the side and once again tries to appease her while Amber disrespects her. She calls her basically fake and accuses her of playing both sides with her hand all in her face…while Lexi just looks.

Joseline arrives…

Well somebody being messy has already sent her a video of everything…do yawl think it was Zeus? Drop a comment…

She walks in the room and immediately tells Amber to get out. She has a confused look on her face. Why? Did you think Joseline was Chanel? Now that she has arrived you bout to get checked…

She asks what did I say, but Joseline repeats, “Get out.” She leaves and Joseline asks Ms. Wet Wet why they were fighting. She tells Joseline that Amber has been gunning for her since they got there. Amber tries to come back but Joseline tells her to get out and wait outside.

She asked Chanel why she let Amber talk to her like that. Joseline felt that when her name was mentioned because these ladies had not even met her yet, Chanel should of checked Amber. She told Chanel she should have told Amber to get out…she then asks Chanel if she was scared and the checks her in front of everybody…

She calls Lexi Blow out for not having Chanel’s back and not putting Amber out…she now checks her in front of everybody. She gets in each girls face and threatens them, but K.Kapri laughs when she tells her she would f**k her up. I would too if I was 6’3.

She asks for clarification of why they were eve fighting and Ms. Wet Wet stammers out that Amber is just bothered by her presence. Joseline orders Chanel to go  get Amber. Big bad Amber says she can’t do this because of how Joseline just handled her and rather than turning on her heels and leaving her outside, Chanel weak ass convinces her to come inside. Chanel why didn’t you just say fine then, tootles to the weak biahs, and dip?

And Amber for all her talk about how her mama doesn’t even talk to her like that she then went back in to talk to Joseline. Im’ma need somebody to say what they mean and mean what they say. From now on if I was Amber mama? I would be checking her left and right. Because how you  let Joseline check you when your own mama can’t?

Is that a Chicago thing?

Because my mama could say and do things to me no woman better not try. And I mean that. I’m not to fighter but don’t ever mistake my humbleness for me being a punk…

Chanel stop repping the West, because the Mid West must think we all punks because of you, and that’s a mistake…we respect everybody until you disrespect us…then anything is bound to happen depending on who you trying to punk. Stop bullying Chanel thinking it will always go like that Amber…

And like I said, Amber was talking so much earlier, she didn’t even remember she had mentioned Joseline’s name in her rant. She said she didn’t give an eff about Joseline’s Cabaret if a girl gets out of line she gone handle it. Well Joseline is about to handle her…keep reading.

Back inside Joseline is still asking the women why they let Amber disrespect her and check them. She asks K. Kapri if she was scared, and she says she just is not here to do that. K.Kapri says that Ms. Wet Wet started it with Amber by antagonizing her. Ms. Wet Wet lies and says she not a s**t starter, lol. Well that’s all we have been seeing you do, liar.

Joseline tells Lexi she should send her home because she is too neutral. She says she is done kissing their asses, she bends over and says they got to lick hers…

This is a mess…

She tells Lexi they are in Las Vegas so she doesn’t need none of them. She tells the girls they are here to dance not for the b.s. And Gaia Love mentions to Joseline that Jesus loves her…

Why she say that?

Joseline aint having it…she doesn’t want to hear that right now, and I don’t either. The way my Lord and Savior is being spoken about right now is so disrespectful I am moving on before lightening strikes, ya dig?

Gaia Love closes her eyes as if she is praying for Joseline…when she mentions Jesus again, Joseline puts her out too.

Did I mention this is a mess?

She directs her attention to Amber who has come back in. She lets Joseline know the reason she attacked Ms. Wet Wet is because of her singing during the photo shoot. So Joseline tells Ms. Wet Wet to let her hear her sing. She does. She asks the girls who sings better. Lexi Blow pipes in, that she came to the Cabaret to dance…

Lexi Blow always makes sense if you ask me, but back to the recap…

Then Raven sings. Joseline asks the girls who could sing better. K.Kapri pipes in says she can’t sing but she can dance…

K.Kapri I’m starting to like you girl, you smart…

Amber then tries to again state her problem with Ms. Wet Wet and Joseline tells her to shut the eff up. What happened to, even my mama don’t talk to me like that, Amber?

Joseline asks her if she can sing, and then Amber sings. She then asks who else wanted to sing. Nobody says jack. She then tells Amber, Ms, Wet Wet,  and Raven to get out…

Why, because the assignment is to dance not sing…they didn’t see that coming but we did. Didn’t we Cabaret fans?

Next…

Joseline takes her pictures, and she looks beautiful as usual. Body banging, and giving you a beat face, do it Joseline!

Next…

Joseline has a talk to the four eliminated girls. She relents and tells Gaia Love she can talk about Jesus but not every day, but she will not take away her being able to speak about Him.

We don’t care because she makes us uncomfortable, real talk so move on…

She tells the other girls she is looking for dancers not singers. They convince her they are there to dance so they all get to stay.

Next…

Her concept for the photo shoot? She is the pimp and the girls are her hoes…Really Joseline?

Foh, but it goes well. They all take their group pictures. Then they head to the house.

 Back at the house…

Joseline has a surprise for the girls…it’s Princess Love! And she looks beautiful in her black cat suit.

They have a lady there to supply Hooka for their impromptu party.

They talk and when Princess mentioned her husband Ray J I’m like…if she is going to talk about him then I take back being happy to see her because I can’t with those two and the drama, good grief, I can’t! But when Princess starts up gossiping about Ray J, Joseline expertly diverts the conversation. Thank you Joseline, because I promise you, I can’t.

Lol.

So it’s a chance for all the girls to get to know each other. And Joseline wants Princess to feel them out especially K.Kapri who she calls E.J. Johnson.

Sigh, women empowerment my ass.

So the women who once again were left to sit in the bus waiting, and finally they get to come in the house to party and chill. She lets them know she has the only room upstairs and they better not disturb her in the morning. So after she checks them, they can come in…

They are impressed with the house now that they finally ca come in, lol. And they are excited to see Princess who very graciously tells them they are all beautiful…we like Princess don’t we? As long as she is not obsessing over Ray J, lol.

When K.Kapri flirts with Joseline she tells Princess she is scared, lol. They all get to drinking, smoking Hooka and having fun…finally!

K.Kapri reveals she wants to have children eventually but she will go through In-vitro fertilization because she is a lesbian…Joseline asks her why not have sex with a man to get pregnant…well because she is a lesbian, duh!

I cracked up when the girls were all chilling and Ms. Wet Wet walks over to the group and Amber said, “Wet Wet why the f**k did you just come over here?”

Lol.

But it was cool until Gaia started getting on their nerves…Amber wants to know how she is talking about Jesus and she is a porn star….I promise you I am uncomfortable because when Gaia reveals she had a dream Jesus was kissing her feet…Amber kept saying she want Jesus to eat he you know what and I was shocked. Forgive them Lord for playing with God…

This is a mess yawl and I was disgusted…

Joseline tells K.Kapri the house thinks she is a man and she will too until she sees her vagina…

Gaia has the nerve to judge the other girls despite her being a dang gone porn star…shut up Gaia, how you any better than anybody, remember Jesus loves everybody even prostitutes! I can’t with this girl.

K.Kapri reveals that she felt Lexi Blow came of being nasty to her. I was surprised and so was Joseline. But what did you expect when they saw how Joseline was able to talk to her, is it a wonder one of is testing her?

{Record Scratch}

All I know, I am tired of Ms. Wet Wet pulling down her shirt to talk to her rock hard unmovable tits. Girl enough! We see Paris and London and we don’t care, idiot! Gaia pulls down her shirt and says hers are real….I bet the camera men are loving this…

Princess leaves because at the end of the day she is  mommie of two kids…did we expect her to stay long? Bye Princess kiss those gorgeous babies, muah! And the party continues.

Joseline asks the girls if they had to choose someone to go home who would it be? Lollipop says Amber, immediately. Amber is shocked and Lollipop says they are cool but, she feels Amber wants to fight for no reason. She felt Ms. Wet Wet didn’t deserve the beat down and I agree. But to keep it real, Ms. Wet Wet was being annoying, so she kinda had that coming. Not the beat down but the negative attention. Don’t poke a bear and be surprised when it claws you…Amber was that bear, ya dig? Ms. Wet Wet was all mouth and couldn’t back it up…

Amber reveals Lollipop got some penis the night before at the hotel…what does that have to do with anything? I’m confused. Lollipop confirms she did…WE DON’T CARE!

They argue…and Joseline redirects them to mingle, why? Because who the heck cares what Lollipop did and with who? Do yawl care?

They toast to the Puerto Rican Princess. Amber reveals that Lollipop told them that Lexi Blow laughed when the girls had to sit stuck in the bus because they couldn’t come into the house yet. Blckdiamond and the others are upset. Lexi says Lollipop is lying she never laughed at them. The girls don’t believe her. Amber calls Chanel and Lexi two broke fake ass b***hes…

Whoa…

Amber warns them that she has dirt on Chanel and Lexi…especially Lexi, but she doesn’t seem worried. Chanel says she didn’t laugh and basically throws Lexi under the bus as the person who did…

Really Chanel? But remember Lexi didn’t have her back either so it’s a wash, right? But Joseline is mortified. Chanel just proved Joseline was right about her being unloyal. Amber starts bullying Lexi.

Sigh, what are we in highschool?

Well the kicker is when Raven tells Joseline Gaia was saying in the bus she would strangle and eff Joseline up for making them wait in the van…Gaia says she was just playing but Joseline is pissed when all the girls confirm it, and Gaia says she said it as a joke. The girls call her out for lying and continue to reveal all the things Gaia said she would do to Joseline…

How does the episode end?

Joseline directs the girls to drag Gaia out of the house, and some of the girls start to beat Gaia Love…

Mercy!

So we can’t wait to catch the fall out next week, can we? See yawl next episode, muah!

What are your thoughts?

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References:

Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas – Zeus (thezeusnetwork.com)

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