Recap Of Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta Episode Twelve: “You’re The Winner”

I’m back to recap the finale episode of “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” appearing on Zeus Network and once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching the twelfth episode yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode twelve. Ready? Let’s get started…….

Episode Twelve: You’re The Winner

When the show starts the show does a brief, yet extended, “recap” of the season, so we get a flashback of just how crazy this dang gone show is! And that’s what made me tune in each week, what about you, Cabaret fans? You could be critical, but why not give Joseline her props? Look at what she managed to do?

She gave us a reality show that we can honestly admit kept our interest! The concept was new, take a bunch of strippers and prostitutes and change their circumstances by giving them an opportunity to showcase their sexy in a new way, right along with The Puerto Rican Princess as the star.

But another thing that this show got right was the girls. We are invested in them. We want to see what they will do each week and that’s not something I personally feel right now for ANY other reality show. So thank you Zeus, for having a show on your streaming Network that I actually enjoy recapping…..now back to the recap, lol.

The episode starts as it always does, right? We see what happened the previous week and we get the intro to Joseline’s song, “Live Your Best Life”. Congratulations Joseline for making this my jam. I promise you, whoever had the brilliant idea to incorporate Joseline’s music into the show is a marketing genius……

I’m going to miss singing along with the intro……”How bad you really want it…..what, what…..” Yeah, whenever I play this song I will always shimmy along from now on, and truthfully I never would have been checking for a Joseline Hernandez song, so kudos to you Joseline. You made me a genuine fan. So yes, I will continue to play this.

Shut up, I know I’m not the only one by now!

So the first thing we see is the line outside of people waiting to get inside the venue for the first show of the cabaret that is supposed to be occurring that night, remember? We are back at the point where Joseline has grouped the final girls remaining into couples. Each couple will stand before her and hear her finally determination of who out of the two made it.

So once again, Yummy P and Mz Natural stand in front of Joseline, who has Ballistic Beats standing by her side to give her moral support when she tells each girl whether or not they made it onto the cabaret…..

The body language tells it all as Joseline gives a speech on each girls overall performance in the cabaret and the antics each girl contributed to the chaotic environment of the house. Mz Natural stands there nervous and contrite even. Yummy’s hands are folded across her chest.

WARNING!!!!!!!!! WARNING!!!!!!!!! WARNING!!!!!!!!! WARNING!!!!!!!!

But Joseline goes on about the problems….the drama…..the hard work…..seemingly oblivious that the energy is waaaaay off. Ballistic looks off as she goes on with her speech ignoring the resentment forming on Yummy’s face….

Who the hell made it Joseline? I’m on pins and needles at this point. Joseline blames Yummy P for the drama between her and Mz. Natural. Yummy P stands there with a hint of attitude on her face……Joseline goes on. We see flashbacks of the blooming friendship the two ladies had, when they first arrived at the house. Then we see flashbacks of the arguments and drama between the two. And we see Joseline grow cold towards Yummy P, as well.

They also show Mz Natural struggle to show the other side of her. She wanted us to know she is more than just a porn star. She wanted America to see she is talented. Well we see you Mz Natural. You danced your butt off and made me want to start a hastag that #littlebootiesmatter. Girl you rock! We saw your personality and we all are rooting for you and as you stand there anxiously waiting for your fate.

Which one made the cut? Joseline has the cabaret outfit waiting in her hand for the right girl.

Joseline asks Yummy to step up and she recalls all the hard work Yummy P put in but she didn’t make it, Mz Natural did. Mz Natural drops down into a squat and puts her hands on her head and starts to cry…..she made it! Joseline apologizes to Yummy P for not making it and asks her to return to the back of the room with the other girls.

But if you think Yummy P wasn’t “no cheap hoe and she wasn’t going to act any kind of crazy for no check?” In my opinion you would be sadly mistaken. Well what is your definition of class, style and grace, Ms. Yummy P?

Cause she aint you and you aint she, in my book, whew! You are trash for what you did next.

Yummy P graciously takes off one of her heels and while Mz Natural was still in that vulnerable position, Yummy runs up and starts graciously whacking Mz Natural in the head with her shoe……continuously!

Why?

Because she is a cheap hoe that will act any kind of crazy for a check, that’s why. If I liked you before, I can’t stand your ass now…..Get out Gremlin, asap.

No self respecting woman would go out like that, with all the dam times you had the opportunity to square up….and your mark ass waits until Mz Natural is caught off guard to beat her with a HIGH HEEL SHOE?

Eff all that security, for real, if I was Mz Natural I would of started throwing anything I could of gotten my hands on……I would of turned into a hurricane and destroyed anything to get to Yummy with my head still throbbing from the concussion and all!

Foh.

Aint no way in the world she wouldn’t have been bleeding after attacking me with a weapon while my head was down. I would of went crazy, and I do not fight, but the furniture, glasses, flowers and anything else….would of been tossed in Yummy’s direction with all my might.

Yummy you deserved to get your ass beat for being a punk ass you know what. And to think, I actually liked you at one time….well you made sure I will NEVER respect you again. You are foul for hitting with objects as if you were defending yourself, cheap hoe. You are a coward and that’s not how I roll. Get out.

Instead of Ballistic being there for moral support, he ends up being security as he tries to break the hold Yummy has on Mz Natural’s hair as she is literally leaning back on her crusty heels of her feet while pulling Mz Natural by her hair.

Why?

Because cheap hoes won’t allow the women they fight a fair one and Mz Natural has on heels and Yummy P doesn’t, so she is able to move Mz Natural around effortlessly despite being shorter. Mz Natural’s head is down, and her hands are trying to pull her hair free while her neck is being pulled by Yummy…who apparently took a class called, “Cheap Street Tactics 101: The Cheap Hoe Edition”, and is an expert in fighting dirty.

They get them separated and Mz Natural is hysterical. Joseline tries to console her, but Mz Natural is sobbing now. She says she is a trained fighter….she could have easily beat the voodoo out of Yummy P, but she was caught completely off guard. She cries and I felt her. Yummy P knew better than to run up when she expected it and no fighter wants to be beat up by a coward. Emboldened by the tears, Yummy P is out of control now…..

She runs up on a unsuspecting Chanel Tso and begins punching her in the mouth…..why? Because she is a cheap hoe. Now when the hell did they ever have beef?

NEVER!

So Chanel didn’t even get the chance to put her dukes up….she is left with blood coming out of her mouth……

Oh hell naw.

Once again…..those couches, my shoes, a chair…..I don’t care. Security would have had to prone me…..I would of acted a dam fool if I would off seen blood coming out of my mouth…..What the hell is wrong with Yummy P besides being a cheap hoe? This is insane!

She has a death grip on Chanel’s hair as she tries to fight back, but yawl, Yummy is a whole clown out here as she is literally scooting up as security tries to hold on to her itty bitty ass, while Chanel’s head is held down……eff you Yummy P, just get out.

The blood in Chanel’s mouth infuriates some of the people watching but the girls are mainly shocked. Little Yummy P is filled with rage as she proudly boasts about beating up the two girls who….

YOU HOO, Yummy P? (Waving my hands and whistling) as if her delusional ass can see me trying to get her attention from the comfort and safety of my bedroom, but no such luck.

We don’t care about your hard life because what does that have to do with attacking another woman when she is helpless and yet another woman when she is not only helpless but unaware? You suck so why are you all proud?

Lady…..

They were caught off guard so what are you yelling about. They put her out of the venue and she is outside telling the crowd she beat up the other girls….which she did. But the way you did it is disgraceful and the fact that you are proud means you are a dirt bag for real. She refuses to go quietly. Chanel is in her confessional admitting, she hasn’t a clue why the hell she was attacked and neither do we other than Yummy is a punk ass BEEEEEEEP!

Get out cheap hoe.

She screams about how she has had a hard life and these girls woke up the beast…..shut up because we don’t care. You had your chance to square up on numerous occasions but you didn’t cause that’s what cheep hoes do. You could have at least fought with your hands but used an object because you are the “Queen of the Cheap Hoes”, shut up and get out you raggedy cheap hoe.

Enough…..save it for the reunion. And I hope it is five parts too, one whole part just for you to get WHATEVER karma has in store for cheap hoes…..now off with you. Tootles to the weak biahs…..basically. Go the heck away weirdo.

Back inside……

Ballistic tells Joseline he told her so. He knew all along Yummy P was off her rocker. They scramble with production to get things back in order back stage.

Mz Natural is crying….her head and neck hurts. Her big toenail was ripped off in the may lay and it is throbbing and bleeding…..ouch. She weeps as they try to slowly pull her shoe off to access the damage as her foot leaks blood….eff you Yummy P. You didn’t do jack. She is still going to perform even with her foot bandaged.

Basically, these two gave us great T.V. and trust me; Yummy P is the gift that keeps on giving. This little lady is reality T.V. gold, with her crazy self, just keep reading as we move on and we could care less……

Why?

Because Mz Natural is a winner and you are a chicken dinner, you bird. We don’t care about poultry unless its seasoned and deep fried…so enough with the speeches…..just leave, cheap hoe. Yummy is finally gone. Thank the Lord….

Back to the business of the Cabaret……

The next couple up is Bosstec and Chanel Tso. They stand in front of Joseline and Ballistic. Joseline says that the girls and production told her how Bosstec is cocky and brought ten stacks into the house and is acting like she doesn’t need the Cabaret.

I suspect the reason she goes so hard is because of the secret meeting Bosstec snuck and had with Ballistic, but according to Joseline she is upset and disappointed with Bosstec’s attitude.

If you say so Joseline, wink wink.

So you mad Bosstec bossed up in the house? She calls Bosstec disrespectful……but what is the real reason you feel disrespected Joseline? She is too playa to mention the secret meeting….so the viewers are left confused on why Joseline is so mad at Bosstec…..

Bosstec takes it like a boss because like I always said, Bosstec is confident amongst other women….its just a quiet confidence. She says nothing, just stands there apologetically not giving a dam, lol.

Joseline tells Chanel Tso she won a spot……what the hell? Who saw that coming?

Her lip is messed up. her bun is jacked up but Chanel could care less…she was the one they all counted out, laughed at and at times even disrespected, and she earned her spot. They are all molded! She worked hard and did it! Thank you for repping for the West Coast and Texas……Chanel Tso made it, yay-E-yay-E! She takes her uniform and the shady advice from Joseline and goes to tell the girls who are also surprised.

Bosstec is happy for Chanel, and celebrates her, and that’s why we like Bosstec….sometimes, lol.

They clap for Chanel. She is so happy.

Next couple is Lexi Blow and Big Lex. She tells them both about their progress and behaviors in the house but in the end, even though Big Lex is her baby, she chose Lexi Blow to be in the cabaret. Big Lex is happy for Lexi Blow….she celebrates her and that’s why we like Big Lex. And Lexi Blow has always been a quiet assassin of the cabaret….she kept killing the competition while genuinely rooting them on, lol.

The girls are happy, Lexi Blow is ecstatic.

Last up…..Sapphire and Lucky Hustla. Its cold blooded that they are the ones who have to stand side by side while Joseline recalls their journeys to get to this point. She picks Lucky, but cries when she has to let Sapphire down. But you know what…..

Sapphire you showed us that Cleveland rocks. You repped for Cleveland, girl….we gonna always remember Drew Carey and Sapphire from Joseline’s Cabaret showed us how they do that there. Girl strut your stuff!

Even Ballistic gave them their props…..And we knew Lucky would make it. She came back with her head in the game…..Sapphire lost herself by helping others….but she is still happy for Lucky and all the girls who made it….we like you Sapphire because you are more than enough! Lucky is happy and so are we.

Sapphire goes to the back and announces that Lucky made it over her, and she begins to lead the other girls in clapping for Lucky. Because that’s what real friends do. If I cant make it, I will still clap for my friend. Lucky knows Sapphire is hurting but the effort is appreciated. Congratulations to Lucky who Joseline reminds to do better and gives her tips for the night’s performance….

THE FIRST PERFORMANCE OF JOSELINE’S CABARET…….

The other girls that didn’t make it sit and watch with the audience and us…..Joseline does ““Live Your Best Life” which is basically a pole dance set. She nexts performs her song, “Que Rico” and just in case you never heard it here it is…..

(Posted on YouTube by Joseline Hernandez-topic)

The crowd is going wild for her and Joseline is showing out while in her element……The girls, who didn’t make it, are in their section of the venue, twerking and dancing.

They finally perform and they do a great job despite 3 out of the four girls have been injured and some big security guard delaying the performance. He was pulling his weight and holding up the performance………but despite the nervousness, they did that.

So out of Chanel Tso, Lucky Hustla, Lexi Blow ans Mz Natural who wins the ten thousand bands?

Chanel Tso won!!!!!!!!!!

Joseline makes a speech about Chanel and it was inspiring until she called her a potbellied hoe…..why?

Joseline had a great night, Chanel won the cabaret and a good night was had by all!

That’s how the episode ended.

So we can’t wait to see what happens when the show comes back for what looks like will be an explosive reunion. Did you enjoy the show? Who did you want to win? You can expect a special edition post on this show for me to show my appreciation for all the wonderful T.V. they gave us this season so keep checking back in!

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References:

Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta – Zeus (thezeusnetwork.com)

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