Okay, I made it another week and I’m back to recap the fourth episode of “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” appearing on Zeus Network. Hope all the mother’s enjoyed our day after all; it all starts with us so “Happy Belated Mother’s Day” and you are appreciated!
Once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching the fourth episode yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode four. Ready? Let’s get started…….
Episode Four: “Bye Bye Barbie”
The episode starts as it always does, right? First we see what happened the previous week and then we get the intro to Joseline’s song, “Live Your Best Life” and yes, by now this is the jam! Remember, Chanel Tso goes to her room and she sees Blue Face Barbie suitcases by the door, all packed and ready to go, so she goes and tells Bosstec and they both run to let Joseline know that Blue Face is packed up and they suspect she has left the house for good.
Chanel Tso is confused because despite going for blows repeatedly, Lucky Hustla and Blue Face Barbie has squashed their beef so why did Blue Face Barbie leave? I’m wondering, who packs all their stuff and just leaves it? I might leave but you best believe my stuff is coming with me, but Barbie just leaves her stuff? Were the suitcase fairies going to ship it out later? I mean why was it just sitting there?
Chanel Tso says she is done with Blue Face Barbie because when she left that morning to get her nails done, Barbie was still in the bed and despite them being roommates she did not inform her she was leaving the competition. Bosstec says she wanted Barbie to be stronger and stay in the house and not let the other women run her off.
What the heck are these ladies talking about? Im’ma need them to remember it is a competition. What’s wrong with them yawl? Bosstec, if Blue Face Barbie leaves of her own free will, why do you care? That is one less woman competing for a spot on the Cabaret. Duh?!!!
Put two and two together and it will always equal four. But these two seem to be worried about someone who aint even worried about herself. Sigh. It just doesn’t make any sense. IT’S A COMPETITION DINGBAT. I thought Bosstec was smart but as the episodes pile up I’m seeing her differently. The math doesn’t add up, how is everybody going to win? It’s just dumb. Let’s move on……
So they catch Joseline in her room wearing her “Hey Maid” t-shirt that she is promoting. Chanel Tso tells her that Barbie’s stuff is packed and they don’t know where she is or why she left. Joseline is floored. Last she knew, Blue Face was fine and so she questions Chanel because “aren’t you her roommate?” Yeah and you was going hard for her too Chanel Tso as if you too were best buds and she dipped without so much as a “see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya”, nope she just left.
Joseline questions Bosstec, “did she tell you why she left? Cause I know yawl be talking”. Bosstec is clueless as well but feels Barbie is afraid of a few people in the house. Now we already know the mere mention of Lucky’s name should have Blue Face Barbie trembling from PTSD and flashbacks from all the hands she put on the poor girl, but who else is she afraid of? Of all the people in the house? Drumroll…… Yummy P.
What?!!!!! Are you sure? Why would anybody be afraid of itty bitty, Yummy P, who only came to dance her little booty off? Because as we all know, according to Mz. Natural, little booties matter too, aye let’s start that hash tag. Why is she afraid of Yummy P yawl?
The Flash Back…….
The previous night the other girls and Joseline are trying to teach Blue Face Barbie how to dance. Which is strange seeing how it’s a dance competition but let’s just act like this is normal to have a girl who can’t dance compete but I digress…So Yummy P is displaying a side of her nobody has seen before. Apparently acting like some sort of voodoo witch or something. She was saying that nobody wanted to see the side of her that would rip them all to shreds. I would of looked at her little short self and burst out laughing but scary Blue Face Barbie wasn’t taking no chances. I mean she already has ninety pound Lucky tossing her around like a rag doll, I guess she didn’t want Yummy P tag teaming her with a few more light weight socks to her face and came to the conclusion it was too many crazy chicks in the house so she decided to leave. Maybe one of those beat downs really did knock some sense into her after all. We have the cabaret captain to thank for that. Thank you Lucky for finally beating the stupid out of Blue Face Barbie, moving on…..
What do you all think? Was Yummy P another reason Blue Face was so anxious to get away that she left her stuff behind in terror? We later see Yummy P does have another side, but more on that later, back to the b.s. at hand. Joseline is astounded, “Are yawl scared of Yummy?” “No!” They both yell in unison. Yeah, girl nobody is, but like I said, more on Yummy P, a.k.a. The Voodoo Priestess, later in the show.
Bosstec tells Joseline that Blue Face is infatuated with Joseline to an unnatural degree. Joseline is pissed. They are spending a lot of time and focus on Blue Face Barbie. She has had enough. She was her friend but doesn’t feel Blue Face is a friend in return. Since she has her bags packed, and ready to go? Joseline has got something for Blue Face Barbie because nobody plays with the Puerto Rican Princess. Bout time Joseline got tired of all this drama for a girl who refuses to even dance despite it being a freaking dance competition. Geez.
Joseline calls Blue Face Barbie back to the house to come get her bags but first Joseline wants to break her face. Oh yes Barbie, Joseline wants to show you why she is the queen of dog walking “hoes” and she tells Blue Face to go do what she does best and that’s sucking you know what. Dang Joseline! But Joseline goes all the way in. Chanel Tso and Bosstec are in the kitchen telling some of the girls about Blue Face leaving the way she did. Lexi Blow calls Chanel Tso out for following behind Blue Face Barbie despite barely knowing her. Omg. Lexi Blow barely talks but I promise you when she does this chick make a world of sense. Chanel defends her decision to follow no dancing Barbie. Well at least she didn’t follow her out the house.
Lucky thought that after they “made” up Blue Face would finally start to compete. Yummy P cuts that out with “ F**k all that s**t we gone have fun today”….whoa, who is this lady? Where is quiet as a church mouse Yummy P? Somebody put a spell on her or something cause all she knows is they are still there and Blue Face Barbie aint so she is moving it right along and so are we before she gets mad and hits us with her terrible voo doo, lol.
Joseline has security bring the bags to the front steps of the huge mansion, and she proceeds to toss them down the sprawling stairs, one by one.
We see a car pull up….ut oh! Has Blue Face Barbie showed up to pick her stuff up from where it was thrown to the curb by the strong but lovely, Puerto Rican Princess? Security is ready just in case Joseline sprints down those stairs to make good on her promise to break Blue Face Barbie interesting face. But no need to be on guard, because Blue Face sent some dude to retrieve her things because Joseline had already put the fear of God in her over the phone. The guy even had some humble body language, just in case Joseline was feeling provoked. Could you imagine Joseline pulling Barbie out of the car, while Ballistic body slammed whoever dude was? Wouldn’t that be a sight?
Blue Face Barbie says they will all see her at the reunion. Yes ma’am we expect to see you being picked up off the floor after Joseline lays you out. I mean unless you decide to bring you an army with you, I’m just saying.
Bye, bye Busted Face Barbie! We don’t care so we are moving on! Lucky hits a split as the other girls taunt Barbie as she is driven off. What a sad way to go out but what do expect from somebody with the wack ass name, Blue Face Barbie. Tootles to you….
Chanel Tso wants to address the fact that everybody felt she was a follower and all up Blue Face Barbie’s fake behind. Because you were. Don’t make them roll back the footage of you kissing up. Well Joseline is glad she is gone. Sapphire is tired of being nice.
Okay Chanel, you want to know why the girls think you are a weak follower. Well Sapphire is about to let you know. You acted like a puppy. Dang Sapphire. Harsh but true. Chanel doesn’t feel like a puppy. Sapphire wants her to get a clue. She throws a couple of dog treats at her, and tells her. “Cause you’se a puppy”. Joseline wonders if its real dog snacks and seems to contemplate eating one to see. Don’t eat that Joseline! Yeah she rethinks that decision and puts the treat down. Hilarious.
Sapphire continues to call her out and Chanel bows down just like her scary mentor, Blue Face Barbie. Sigh. Why didn’t you at least throw the treat back at her Chanel? She wants to move pass the cattiness. I bet you do. She even apologizes like a good doggie. Blah, blah, let’s move on. Sapphire is here to win and she warns Chanel Tso to get it together or else, and she says “that’s fine”. Dang Chanel, couldn’t you at least throw the treat back? I’m just saying.
Let’s get to rehearsal, after all that’s what we are here for. To dance!
Rehearsal, Because It’s Time to Get down To the Business of the Cabaret
They go to a professional dance studio to learn some choreography. They all claim to be ready to finally show what they got. This is Bosstec first rehearsal and some of the girls are feeling some type of way. Side note, I like what Yummy P had on she looked really nice, the hair, shoes and everything. They are all stretching. In comes Joseline.
This is the first big rehearsal. She complements them and says they all look like good and ready to work, except for Sapphire who is fiddling with her nose ring. Joseline claims she is digging in her nose and calls her a “booger girl”, lol.
She wants them to follow her choreography. It’s all chair work, and she warns them she is only doing the routine twice so pay attention and learn. The person who learns will be on top and that separates the winners from the losers. If you can not remember the step, how are you going to be in the cabaret?
Bosstec missed the first rehearsal. Should she be allowed to rehearse or sit this one out as a penalty? I mean why did she miss the rehearsal, it was supposedly for her hair right? Well it doesn’t look that great now so why did she miss the rehearsal? Did you really have to miss for what you came back looking like? She has beautiful hair, she could of just put it in a messy bun and kept it pushing but no she just had to miss and still look the same. Basically.
Let’s vote. 4 girls are in favor and four say no. Now Big Lex calls the four that said yes, out. How you all going to sit and complain about Bosstec missing rehearsal only to get in front of her and say she shouldn’t have a penalty? Joseline agrees that it wasn’t all gravy behind Bosstec back you all were talking mess about her not showing up for that first rehearsal, remember? Well we do. They start to argue about it. Sapphire doesn’t think it’s fair. Mz Natural understands but she voted yes because now they are in a good energy so she just wants to move on.
So Big Lex asks Joseline so should we all just split the ten thousand so we can all be happy? Good point Lex after all it’s a competition. Ms Natural wants Black women to stick together. That’s why I like Mz Natural, I really do. But bump all that girl somebody has to lose and we can all fist pump for righteousness later. It’s time to get this money, ya dig? Stay focused Ms. Little Booty or do you really matter? Something tells me Bosstec wouldn’t stick up for you but I get it. You’re a good person just not a competitive one….
Joseline breaks the tie and says she decided Bosstec should sit it out. I agree but I want to see Bosstec dance. Something tells me she is competition. And she really is a beautiful girl, real talk. She doesn’t need a bunch of weave either, she is tripping girl you are gorgeous!
She doesn’t get mad and agrees to sit it out. I think the girls unleashed a secret beast. Something tells me when Bosstec finally shows us what she can do, we are going to be impressed. She has a certain look in her eye like, yeah okay I will just show you all later. Yeah she is going to do the dam thing when she gets her chance, watch.
Joseline wants to hear everybody out and have some input, that’s why she did the vote. She doesn’t want to be a bully or a dictator. She wants them to speak their mind and she wants to consider everybody and their opinion. And boy oh boy does Yummy P give them all a piece of her mind.
She understands why Bosstec didn’t want to show up on camera looking her best. She says yes is a competition but they are still a team right? Eventually they are going to be dancing together so what’s the big deal about letting Bosstec rehearse? Joseline tells Yummy that Blue Face left because she was afraid of her. Yummy P wonders why. And just in case Big Lex or anybody else thought they would shut her down with their big mouths? She lets everybody know the deal.
Blue Face came there for the wrong reasons but she didn’t. She is there to dance point, blank, period now what else is going on? Crickets. Yummy P didn’t come to play with you hoes.
Im from Cali. It don’t matter what part (but if you really must know trust me I will let you know, lol.) but the point is this. You have to be about your money because it costs to live somewhere like, Long Beach. You learn that chasing money takes energy and anything that takes away from getting the money is wasting your time and will keep you broke. We understand those phrases other people like to throw out but don’t really live by. When we say mind the business that pays you we understand that worrying about the next person’s situation is counterproductive. We live by the code, beef is a broke person’s forte. Somebody will be homeless and it won’t be us cause we could care less cause if it don’t make dollars it don’t make sense, shout out to DJ Quik.
She let them know what she is here for and they all look at her shocked that such a little lady could put such meaning into, “I aint acting ignorant for no f***ing check, I came to dance.” Whew! Yeah now we see why Blue Face was scared. Yummy P seems like she will slice your throat if yawl don’t stop playing and get on to the business of the cabaret. Well okay then…..
Joseline shows them the routine. Now who wants to do it without her showing it to yawl again? First up Yummy P.
Now Lucky give it a try. She is confident because she can out dance everybody after all she is the captain.
They all try and fail, so Joseline is coaching them through the routine. They all struggle. Joseline is pissed. “These bitches aint s**t” she remarks because none of them can remember the choreography but let’s be fair. It may look like random gyrating, twerking and such, but it was a lot going on. Dang Joseline! I was tired just watching her do the split, kicks, left turns, right turns…..hold up! She says they were simple steps…I beg to differ lady. She berates them for not being able to remember. Joseline is a real pro and she is not letting up. Yawl better shape up or ship out cause you know her motto. “we can always get other girls”.
So they go over it again. Aqua’s wig falls off. She picks it up and runs out….
And Now The Bull S**T Begins….
They are doing the routine. Aqua runs back and resumes her dancing. “Where were you?” Aqua explains her wig fell off and Joseline goes into a tirade. You should of left it and kept dancing.
That’s it for tonight. Until the production of Zeus Network complains that Aqua cussed them out in her effort to adjust her wig out of the sight of the cameras. Joseline is really mad now. Now Joseline wants Aqua to apologize for being disrespectful, but Aqua wants to go home.
Now yawl remember what happened to last girl that wanted to go home? Did Aqua forget, well she is about to remember why announcing that to Joseline face to face is a bad idea. Why do you think Blue Face Barbie sent for her things instead of getting them herself? Hurricane Joseline is about to blow. Keep reading.
Joseline tells the girls the situation. But while she is speaking Aqua coughs. Joseline runs in her face, “who you coughing at?” Wait a minute, what did I miss? Since when is it disrespectful to choke off water and cough? Well Joseline aint having it. “I know you aint coughing at me”.
Yummy P says, “note to self, never cough when Joseline is talking to you”. Well we all need to pass on the memo; you better not even choke on water around this piece because Joseline will beat the dog mess out of you. Why? We don’t know, just don’t do it. Okay we all got the memo; you can suffocate with water up your nostrils and eye balls but do it quietly, because Joseline don’t play that coughing while she is cussing you “hoes” out so just go on and choke to death in silence. WTH!
Mz Natural is mad she took up for Aqua against Big Lex that time in the beginning episodes, because Aqua wants to just leave over being told to apologize. The girls are mad she wants to leave but Sapphire is glad. Good! She is tired of them all wanting to leave or be in the drama. Aqua throws up the peace sign at Joseline. When the other girls lament about Aqua leaving, Big Lex had enough and runs up on Aqua and proceeds to beat her up. What the…….
So we can’t wait to see what happens next week are you all excited to see the fall out? I am….Let’s support Joseline and show her and her show some love! Feel free to leave a comment and check me out next week for my recap of episode 5!
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