The Puerto Rican Princess is back and once again appearing on Zeus Network with her popular hit reality show but this time she is back in Atlanta not Miami, Atlanta is where she got her reality television start. If you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season so if you haven’t started watching the first episode yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers. Ready? Let’s get started…….
Episode One: “Double Homicide”
The episode starts by giving us scenes from last season, “Joseline’s Cabaret Miami” which was a bona-fide hit for Zeus Network and was a great show for anyone who is a lover of reality shows and a fan of Ms. Joseline Hernandez but be advised, on this show they are showing unedited “tits n’ ass”. This is a fair warning for the prudish. I mean it is to be expected. It’s a show about strippers and prostitutes trying to change their situation by competing for a spot in the cabaret show where they will dance sexy, yet respectfully according to Joseline. So you get to see the girls up-close and personal, for real, for real.
Season one, Joseline had to snatch up one of the girls for being disrespectful and this led to a shakeup of the lineup of girls. So this is a season of ten newbie’s with only two of the girls of being from the original cast. I mean she did say that she would always have new girls and there were thousands of girls who sent in audition tapes in an effort to get a coveted spot on the cabaret.
So we get a glimpse of the video for Joseline’s song, “Live Your Best Life” and it’s a bop and of course it’s sexy. So she’s on the massive terrace of a beautiful estate where the show will be taping. The house looks like a castle with a water moat and everything. It’s a mansion with an elaborate design located in Atlanta. The weather is nice and Joseline is sipping champagne with her fiancé Ballistic Beats and having a toast to finally being in the position to have their first show despite the challenges of season one.
Let me just say, Joseline looks good in her bikini top and shiny pants, and she looks happy with her boo. I like when they are on scenes together. He seems to balance her fiery personality out in an encouraging way. Joseline is worried, because last season they didn’t even get to do one single show, but Ballistic assures her if the girls don’t cut it, they can always be replaced.
We find out Sapphire and Lucky Hustle are the only ones returning to the show, mainly because Sapphire was a fan favorite and Lucky according to Joseline was owed another chance after the way things went down first season in Miami. I for one am happy about this decision. Sapphire seemed to have a good heart, and Lucky was personally my favorite from the first season. It was sad the way things ended with her, she seemed to really love and respect Joseline and a couple of the girls from previous the season seemed to be way too mean and catty. She thinks this time she has the perfect bunch of sexy women, but Joseline warns Ballistic that if any of the girls try to get at him he needs to let her know. They both are off the get ready. So its now time to meet the girls….
First up is Lucky Hustla and she tells us she is “back in this bitch like a tampon” and she is now here to win her spot in the show. Looking beautiful as ever and I like Lucky, so I hope she is done with her side “hustle” and older men, and is ready to do something else while that body is still young, slim and trim, ya dig? Too many of us waste our freshness on the old who have already had their prime. I really like Lucky. She seemed a little too sweet and humble before, but before the episode is over, she is going to show us she is most definitely about that life.
The girls are in the van on the way to the house to meet Joseline and they are twerking and excited. And we next are introduced to Chanel Tso who assures us she is expensive and she is a stripper who is about the cash. We see a clip of her shaking her butt cheeks to Joseline’s song, “Run Me My Money” and that’s our glimpse into her skills as a dancer. Something tells me I might not like her personality, but it’s still early so I will give her a chance, but it seems like she wants to get into the mix and start stuff so I got my good eye on her.
So a woman asks her. “What the tricks looking like in Atlanta?” And that’s our introduction to Blue Face Barbie. She wants us to know she is not a dancer, so you already know what she does. I get it, she is a White girl with long blonde hair, so she names herself Barbie, if you say so sis. She is covered in tattoos and has a serious case of too big veneers, but we will hang in there before we make a decision if she is a “doll” or not.
She is attractive with a nice body, but the attitude is not, and of course she throws her propensity to “get the money”, in our face by telling us she doesn’t get her money off the ground she gets it off the dresser. Um, okay ma’am, you don’t want women to put you down because of what you do, but because I don’t sell my body I’m less than? Let’s move on because that logic escapes me.
Next up is Big Lex who is quick to insert herself and grace us with her presence in a big way. She says she is the most underrated and most hated in her city and later on as we see her in the show and we understand why. She seems to be the type to let her mouth get her into trouble or a “sh** starter” much like Daisy and Chastity were last season and we see where that got them, off the show. But it’s early so we will give her a chance too. She did at least stand out.
While traveling in the van, Blue Face Barbie makes a good point, “we all sell our bodies for money so we all hoes”. I think what she meant is, no one is better than the next. We saw last season that a couple of the strippers made a difference, by calling the other girls “304”, and making it seem like stripping was better than prostituting. Well there is a big difference, but I agree somewhat with Blue Face Barbie. Selling sex is selling sex on some level so it really isn’t a good look to put other women down especially when the point of the cabaret is to somewhat uplift women and empower them by embracing their sexuality in a “classy” way. It’s not empowering to put other women down. But yes, that’s exactly what some of these women intend to do, just keep reading….
Next up, Bosstec a girl that is native to Atlanta, and I’m already intrigued when we see clips of her banging body decorated with body paint. She claims she will burn the house down with her inside it just to get to the next “hoe”. So we can already see she is planning on bringing the crazy, but I think I’m going to like her. She is different, and when I saw her twerking her booty while it was painted like watermelons I knew she was going to bring it. She works at Magic City so she is a stripper but the body painting made her stand out to me.
The ladies arrive to the house and are greeted by masked security guards out front who let them know Joseline will be down in a minute. The ladies seem impressed while they stand outside and wait. We are then reintroduced to Sapphire who came back according to her to make her mark. I like Sapphire. She is a bit older and more seasoned than the other women, but she reminds me of myself, someone who is comfortable in tennis shoes and shorts. She is a grown woman who is contented in jeans and who is still a “tom boy” despite having a body that is all, 100 percent woman. With that humongous ass aint no way anybody is mistaking her for a boy though. She seems like she has a big heart too, so I want to see her make it onto the cabaret and do her hometown of Cleveland proud. Please make your mark Sapphire.
Next we meet Aqua who is some type of “tribal dancer” whatever that means. She has been living in her car for two years despite having a 67 year old “Sugar Dad”. Seems to me like she needs to get someone else or does he live in the car too? He is Italian and White which is an interesting tidbit of information she decided to give us. Why? Who knows, seeing how his ethnicity didn’t keep him from allowing her to sleep in the car. She says he is the love of her life though. Interesting. How sweet is the sugar girl? You sleep in a car. But yeah, I was young and in love before. Aqua its time to wise up, aint no man coming to save you but at least you had sense enough to reach for an opportunity. There is hope for you yet.
She is also suicidal due to her life circumstances. She was pregnant with twins who she decided to abort due to the father abandoning her. We can already see Aqua is a mess. The perfect candidate to have her life changed. She is about to see why it is never a good idea to share your tragedies with people you do not know though, so keep on reading….
So Joseline comes out with her sexy turquoise cat suit and high heels to the screams and delight of the women. She welcomes them all to Season two of her show and they all yell for apparent joy while clapping and grinning. She says to them. “ I was expecting yawl to look a little better this morning, but imma give yawl the ghetto pass cause I know it’s the first day…” I cracked up. Well dam Joseline tell us how you really feel!
She lets them know out of thousands of ladies she picked these ten and they should be happy because any lady would want to be there in their place. She gives a shot out to Lucky and Sapphire for making it back and then warns them not to be sneaking trying to suck on Ballistic behind her back.
But other than that, he and she would be at their disposal. She invites them into the house…
They all seem impressed after all, the house is fantastic. The prize for winning is that four women will perform with her in the Atlanta Cabaret show. Also, one of the ladies is going to win 10 thousand dollars. Seems a bit low to me, but the great thing is the exposure because being associated with Joseline Hernandez could be good for their individual brands if they understand how to make this type of exposure work for them. And whoever wins the ten thousand dollars is going to Las Vegas……
During her speech about getting them “out the gutter” and changing their lives, Aqua starts to cry and Joseline invites her to come from the back to the front where she could tell her why she was crying. What did she do that for? Because now the b.s. starts. She tells the whole room that she had to make the difficult decision when she was four months pregnant to abort her twins because the father abandoned her, and Big Lex blurts out, “Double homicide.”
Joseline brings Big Lex to the front to explain the comment. Of course everybody had a problem with the comment. Joseline brushes it off and introduce them to Ballistic Beats who gives them a speech about how hard Joseline has worked and how he is there to help the process on her behalf.
We are introduced to Mz Natural who is a porn star. She tells us “little booties matter”, and she is another one I get the feeling I am going to like. Joseline sends them to find their rooms and get dressed to get to know each other later that night and off they go to find rooms and get ready. But first she tells them not to mess up the house, “and if you want to fight take it outside”. Remember she said that….
We next are introduced to Lexi Blow who says she does it all, stripping, bookings, photo shoots, you name it she does it. She seems a little low key though. She finds her perfect room with three closets and a king sized bed. And then we are finally introduced to Yummy P who according to her is so sweet she will rot your teeth. She is a little woman with a little girl’s voice but something tells me that is part of her game. She is from Long Beach, California and says the show would not be a show without her. Okay Yummy P, we shall see what you bring. Sapphire and Lucky are roomies in a room so big and luxurious, Sapphire claims it is more like an apartment.
Everybody is getting settled in when they hear an argument in the hallway. It seems like some of the girls are hanging in the hallway and have gotten into it with Big Lex because of the “double homicide” comment she made earlier. They have all decided to trade insults and put downs, and of course it goes dark when Big Lex begins taunting Aqua about her abortion. Okay, this why you shouldn’t have shared that in front of everybody Aqua. You should have took Joseline to the side, because bringing this up as a hurtful comment was a low blow you handed to Big Lex to chuck your way.
But Mz Natural had to say something because she too had an abortion before and felt disrespected. This leads to the others to chime in and Big Lex basically has words with almost everybody and seems to be the one who nobody likes and she could give a eff. Will she keep that same energy? Something tells me she may end up being the girl we all like but for now……the jury is out. Im the type of person who never likes someone I perceive to be putting others down to make themselves feel better especially when it was unwarranted. It’s the first episode but Big Lex is pushing it.
Mz Natural reveals in her confessional that she had an abortion but it was not her choice. Apparently she had to learn to walk all over again, and I wish she would have been clearer with the story because I think she eluded to it being because of an abortion, but I’m not sure. Maybe she will bring it up on a future episode so we can know just what that situation was about because she says she had to go through high school on a walker. But disrespectful Big Lex tells her she doesn’t give a care.
All the commotion brings Joseline into the hallway with her cup of noodles. Didn’t she send you all to find your rooms? She tells them she was in the bathroom about to take a sh** when she heard them downstairs.
Waaaaay too much information Joseline.
She finds out they are talking about the abortion yet again. Big Lex tries to give her side but Mz Natural chimes in and Big Lex tries to insult her by calling her Joseline Number Two.
Good One Lex, but it ends up falling flat because rather than getting mad, Mz Natural begins twerking her little booty at her and then hits her with a killer dance step. All the girls, including Joseline are impressed. Okay Mz Natural we see you. She tells Big Lex and you can’t do that, to which Big Lex tries to copy the dance step.
Joseline is left to hilariously ponder how this argument ended up to be a dance battle. But if it was a battle, sorry Big Lex, Mz Natural won. I guess little booties really do matter. Maybe we should start a hash tag, moving on…
Blue Face Barbie doesn’t seem to be all that impressed with her room saying she has been in nicer….I’m trying but I can already admit I am being triggered, lol. Im a very humble person or at least I try to be. Whenever someone does anything for me, big or small I try to be appreciative no matter if I have had better so her comment seemed a tad bit rude. I love when Bosstec opened the big plastic bag and threw money on the floor of her room. She is swimming in 10 bands Now that was a boss move.
Joseline finds Aqua by herself and wants to talk to her. When Aqua admits she is suicidal Joseline offers her some comfort in her own Puerto Rican Princess way. Aqua admits she has no joy in life after a really bad break up and I can relate. I have been low too. I have been homicidal and suicidal behind a man screwing with my head. Aqua take it from me life is way too precious to waste on anyone. Grieve your past, your mistakes, and your missteps and then MOVE ON but know that your life will be better once you do what you are doing now, reaching out to get out of the hard times. It gets better when you move towards making it better.
Joseline tells her that she and Ballistic are here for her if she needs to talk. I would also like to take this time to offer encouragement to Aqua. You are not the first person to make a mistake. Understand that nobody has the right to make you feel worst than you already do, be a little kinder to yourself and if you or anyone else can’t seem to stop the bad thoughts, keep reaching out. Someone will miss you. You deserve to live life happily and abundantly. Here is a number you may use if you need assistance, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255…..
Enough of that let’s really MOVE ON…..
The girls all get ready for a night of drinking, pool playing and hanging out. Blue Face Barbie and Chanel Tso are in their room and Blue Face admits she knows Lucky and doesn’t like her. Her side is they both are acquainted with each other because according to her they are both hoes in Miami. She claims Lucky is spreading rumors that she and her boyfriend tried to pimp her. Lucky’s side is she was going to “hoe” with Blue Face Barbie until she go the idea that she had a pimp. She was going to go into business( turning tricks lol) with her but the involvement of her boyfriend made her uncomfortable so she declined to. I think I explained the story well enough for you to get the gist. There was also some innuendo about sexual advances according to Lucky who is in her room telling her side to Sapphire. Back in the other room, Chanel Tso asks Blue Face Barbie what is she going to do if “unlucky” comes for her? According to Blue Face Barbie, if Lucky comes at her with those hands she is going to “walk that hoe like a dog”. Yeah well we about to see.
Before they join downstairs, Joseline is in her room getting a foot massage by Ballistic telling him about the goings on down stairs. She brings up the “double homicide” comment and Aqua wanting to die. He gives her a great pep talk and assures her she made the right decision picking the girls, but they can always be replaced.
They all are downstairs dressed in their finest and chilling and getting to know one another. Let me just say, Luck looked beautiful in her red and her hair was on point. She makes a toast with Lexi Blow, and Big Lex by the bar. All of the ladies look really nice. In another part of the house but not too far away Blue Face Barbie, Chanel Tso and Bosstec also are chilling while the other girls play pool. Seems like a great vibe.
Joseline comes downstairs in a head piece and over the top dress which is barely covering her in strategic places, if you know what I mean. Say what you want but she has the body to pull it off. Joseline goes over to Blue Face, Chanel Tso and Bosstec first and asks what is going on. Blue Face Barbie calls herself the “Bottom Bitch” and then starts talking greasy about Lucky calling her “unlucky”. Joseline is surprised that Barbie has the audacity to call herself ” The bottom bitch” when Joseline is the one who makes that decision.
The other girls over hear Lucky’s name and tell her she is being talked about so Lucky goes to confront Blue Face Barbie. The two have words and an argument ensues. I almost fell flat when Blue Face Barbie says Lucky was in her D.M.’s trying to eat her p***y to which Lucky replied, “of course”.Without pause the argument continues.
Eventually the argument gets so heated, Lucky politely asks, “may I?” to Joseline and then proceeds to pummel Blue Face Barbie’s face……
So that was the episode. Did anybody catch it? I’m excited for the season and to see Joseline again. She is beautiful, sexy, and hilarious and dare I say it? Entertaining as hell! A lot of people counted her out after she left, “Love and Hip Hop” but she proved them all wrong. So let’s support and show her and her show some love!
Feel free to leave a comment and check me out next week for my recap of episode 2!
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