A narcissist lives in a world that they create. In this world they protect themselves from feelings of low self worth by creating a “false” self. They often require you to “tip toe” around them by monitoring your behavior in such a way not to offend or anger them. A narcissist will control others by making them afraid of their intense reactions to things that displease them or makes them uncomfortable. The people in their lives will try to avoid arguments and fights by doing what the narcissists wants. But what happens when someone who repeatedly bends to the narcissist’s will decides to resist the narcissist? The Narcissist will fly into a serious bout of rage.
And the one word that will more often than not will trigger rage in the narcissist?
If you have spent significant time in a narcissistic relationship you have likely been groomed to respond favorably to the direction of the narcissist in your life. The narcissist hates to feel slighted and telling them, “no” is a surefire way to make a narcissist feel slighted. The response will be strong and may even be violent. Remember your devotion to the narcissist supplies the validation and attention that the narcissist craves, so taking that away from them will trigger an adverse response that can range from mild to hot. Even if they just act irritated as opposed to punching you in the face, the point is you will get a negative response.
So how do you avoid the narcissist rage response to being told, “No”? Don’t tell the narcissist, “no”. It’s just that simple. Whatever the narcissist in your life tells you to do, you must do it, in order for you to keep the narcissist from feeling slighted by you. This means you can expect to be inconvenienced, bullied, run over and harassed into being a slave to the narcissist and their every whim.
The Narcissist Wants You to Be Their Slave
Besides living in the delusion that they are better or weaker than others and deserve to be catered to, the narcissist also has a desire to have their needs attended to by others. This can go so far as them literally trying to make the other person make their life revolve around the needs of the narcissist. The narcissist wants a slave that will not resist their authority. People are not meant to be servants to others without any care for their own lives. People have their own dreams, duties and responsibilities. Eventually they will decline to be at the narcissist’s beck and call and that is when there will be hell to pay.
The Trouble Starts When You Draw a Boundary
Narcissists hate boundaries because they limit them from getting the things they want. Saying the word “no” is a setting a boundary. If you have a doctor’s appointment but the narcissist in your life would like for you to run an errand for them, they may have an objection to you putting your needs before them. The narcissist will have the audacity to be upset without the insight that they are being extremely selfish and self serving.
So consider this post and apply it to the people in your life. It’s important to keep good bonds with others and that will require us to at times accommodate the people in our lives who may need our assistance. The problem we face is sometimes we will have to set a boundary or have to tell someone “no”, rather we want to or not. When we find ourselves to be the target of rage due to these boundaries we should suspect the other person targeting us is a narcissist.
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Feel free to leave a comment about the website and if it was helpful in your quest on healing from narcissistic abuse. So that is my opinion on how narcissist react to a boundary being placed on them by you telling them, “no”, do you agree?
What are your thoughts?
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