I’m always amazed when another woman asks another woman to go with them somewhere when the reason is they don’t want to be by themselves. Not that I don’t understand the request if it is solely for companionship but when the reason is because so and so will be there? I’m perplexed. If you want to avoid someone, why would you go someplace where you know they will be there? This is not the same as running into them at the mall; you are purposely going to an event where you know they will be. And to add insult to injury you really don’t want to be around that person.
Once again, why are you going?
A Sense of Obligation
Sometimes we go to events out of a sense of obligation to others. Maybe the person who is inviting you their event frequently supports you and attends the events you throw. I would think that the purpose of the event is for everyone to enjoy themselves. Well I’m the type of person that likes to be comfortable enough so I can have a good time. If someone is in the midst killing my positive vibes with their presence, I’m not going to have a good time. Some people just immediately put me in alignment with their energy, especially if I’m trying to stay positive.
For instance I may decide to go to a birthday party to relax after a stressful day. I get dressed and put myself into a positive mood through grooming and listening to music in the car and by the tie I pull up to the party, I’m in the mindset to have a goodtime and then I see so and so….
Bam! Instant buzz kill.
So why would I go knowing there is a chance that my day will continue to be bad because I will have to be around people I don’t deal with. I much rather put myself in a positive mood and then continue stay that way. I understand wanting to support someone but I’m sure if you explain why, the person giving the event will understand. And if they don’t, your bigger obligation is to yourself. It’s your responsibility to make sure you have a peaceful, happy, full and healthy life.
So again, why are you going?
You Are Shamed For Being Petty
Another element to having a sense of obligation to go to events where you suspect you will not enjoy the company attending is that other people say your are childish or petty for not attending the event. See this is only a matter of opinion and like any other opinion you don’t agree with you can discard the opinion. What if you attend an event where you curse out and argue with so and so? Then what opinion would someone have about your behavior. When I say I don’t want to be around someone and I am told I am petty or childish I simply agree or disagree with the assessment and still elect not to attend. I’m not about to act a fool out in public just to be accepted by others, so I accept myself so no one else has to. I give myself permission to live my life in a positive way even if others have an incorrect opinion.
So I’m still wondering…why are you going?
You Want to Confront the Person or Be Nosy or Gossip
The very reason I do not attend events when I know someone will be there that I do not want to see someone I don’t deal with is because most of the time I’m genuinely uninterested in their lives and whatever they got going on. I’m not into gossip and if I don’t like you I surely don’t want to celebrate any occasion with you. And it is never a good idea to confront someone in front of a crowd, so if you showing up somewhere to give someone a piece of mind then you are dead wrong.
So really what is your motivation for going?
I feel that these reality shows will change public opinion. You always see some person who doesn’t get along showing upto an event to “break bread” together and “hash it out”. Who does that? Im not sitting at nobody’s restaurant hashing out nothing. You won’t get me to clown in public. There is a time and a place to “hash things out”.
Basically my point is if you invite someone to an event and I do not deal with that person run the risk of having me decline the invitation and you may not like it? But you will respect my decision, and with or without your blessing, I’m still not going unless I can be a positive addition to the guest list. So are you going?
What are your thoughts?
Follow this blog @whenthiswomanspeaks.com
Instagram @ whenthiswomanspeaks