We all know one, and some of us have the unfortunate experience of trying to have a romantic relationship with one and they can be a male or female. Who pray tell am I referring to? The ever so thirsty Player…
The Player is also a narcissist. It is very important that you know your narcissist. A player is not necessarily a narcissist, but the narcissist most definitely is a player. So educate yourself about narcissism and codependency. Because if you want to be in a loving relationship? The player is not what you want.
A player doesn’t have to be good looking. Ever been head over heels over a Player? Then they dump you and leave you wondering, what you ever saw in them? Yeah, I’ve been down that road. Don’t feel bad if you were caught in his web and got so entangled in their minutia and drama. They have a lot of tools in their arsenal. If you entertain them, you will eventually be charmed by them. You were bound to be caught.
The tools a Player uses are underhanded and deceptive. What a combo. And you will most definitely get a taste of their “one two” punch, if you entertain them. They have perfected the art of deception, because usually by the time they run game on you? They have been running game on others. Hence the saying, “I’m not new to this, I’m true to this”.
A False Promise of a Future
The player loves to come across people who long to be in a committed loving relationship. “Me too” they proclaim. Lies. They have no intention of having a future with you, their intention is to use you, but they know they cannot do so without deceiving you.
Fake Proclamations of Love
You are barely around the player two days before they are saying things like” I have never felt like this with nobody before you” or “ I think Im falling in love with you…”
This is definitely a red flag. Anybody who tries to rush the natural progression of a relationship is crossing a boundary. Normal relationships have to take their time to develop trust and intimacy. The player does not have time for that because they want to get in and then be on to the next.
Hot and Cold Behavior
People who love themselves do not allow other people to mistreat them. If you notice someone is inconsistent in the way they handle you, then you should cut them out of your life. If one day they are loving to you and the next day they are distant, only to quickly become loving again?
A person who is being open and honest does not engage in push and pull behavior. They want you bee secure in the relationship you are building together. A player wants to keep you wondering. The purpose of this is, you will try harder if you aren’t sure they are all in.
When They Dump You
First they start acting “funny”, and then the discard comes swiftly, because the player is not interested in a real grown up relationship. They are only with you because of the things you provide. You may be used for money, sex or even the use of your vehicle. The sad thing is they will often use these things to get another conquest. They have no qualms about riding around their new love in your car and even using your money to take another person out on a date.
The Player Goes Ghost
Rather than deal with you asking them why they dumped you, the player will just disappear out of your life. Good. That is a clear sign this person does not have the maturity to be in a real relationship because they would at least verbalize why they are moving on.
The purpose of ghosting is to leave the door open for them to come back later….remember; you are not given closure or a reason. They just go. But are they gone for good?
The narcissistic smirk is a smile of satisfaction that a narcissist gives when they have gotten over on someone. So if the player comes around later, smirking?
How to Knock the Smirk off Your Narcissist’s Face the Non-Violent Way
Take your hat out of the ring, and do not respond to their texts, emails, calls or any other attempts to contact you. If you see them while you are out and about? Ignore them then too or simply make up an excuse to get out of their presence quickly.
When they see their disrespect has not broken you? The narcissist will be disturbed by this, because they think that you can’t just move on. But you can. The best revenge is to have a good life and not to give up on the hope that you will find love. When they smirk? You smile and watch how quickly the narcissist smirk turns into a look of confusion.
You need to figure out what was it that made you so attractive to a player. But until you heal your inner wounds that made you a narcissist’s target?
Take these tools with you……
Do Not Disclose
Stop telling strangers about you. If a love interest wants to get to know you they will date you and overtime you will disclose information.
Do Not Rush
Do not allow anyone to rush the relationship. Take your time and get to know the person. This is actually the best part of new relationship.
Do Not Accept
Do not accept bad treatment. If it feels disrespectful, it probably is, so trust your gut.
What are your thoughts?
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