The Wrath of the Bitter Baby Mama: Run!!!

With 80 percent of single parent households being headed women it’s no wonder why many women are stressed. A Baby Mama is a woman who has a child or children with a man she is not married to. That fact alone lead people to assume she will be bitter because it is widely assumed that women want to be married to the father of their children. I think this is only one of the reasons women may exhibit behaviors that lead others to believe she may be bitter. I chose to assume that there are many reasons a woman may be seemingly bitter towards the father of her child and the fact that he did not marry her is just one. According to the Pew Research Social and Demographic Trends,

Two-parent households are on the decline in the United States as divorce, remarriage and cohabitation are on the rise. And families are smaller now, both due to the growth of single-parent households and the drop in fertility. Not only are Americans having fewer children, but the circumstances surrounding parenthood have changed. While in the early 1960s babies typically arrived within a marriage, today fully four-in-ten births occur to women who are single or living with a non-marital partner. At the same time that family structures have transformed, so has the role of mothers in the workplace – and in the home. As more moms have entered the labor force, more have become breadwinners – in many cases, primary breadwinners – in their families.

(https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/1-the-american-family-today/)

It is hard to raise a child and in my opinion it is even harder to do it alone. It is easier when a household is headed by two parents because let’s face it; everything is easier when you have a partner helping you. I think another reason a woman may be considered bitter is she may have resentment towards the noncustodial father who for the sake of this post I will call the Baby Daddy or BD.

Only twenty percent of single parent households in America are headed by men. A overwhelming majority are headed by women and that has to be another stressor in many women’s lives. A Baby Mama may simply resent the father who she see’s maybe not working as hard as she is as she juggles motherhood with having a job outside of the home as well.

But, what about the non custodial father and why do some women make it hard for their Baby Daddies to be in their children’s lives? Could it be that the men are the problem? Yes there may be a lot of literature about deadbeat fathers and men that abandon their responsibilities. This can lead to a bunch of frustrated single mothers and give much to the impression that they are full of spite.

The truth is many Baby Mama’s are not angry and hateful towards their Baby Daddy’s. There are many unmarried parents who co parent well together.Yes, women can suffer regrets and longings to be with the father of their children. But some women are mature and loving enough to make a co-parenting situation work. But this is not about them, hence the title of this post.

This is about those women who will unleash a slew of tactics designed to produce stress and aggravation for their Baby Daddy’s. They love to cause disruptions in the extended family of these children also as the paternal family may start to stay away from the drama involved with the parenting situation. It can also stress his family and any new relationship he tries to get into.

Being unmarried may or may not be the issue for these 5 Baby Mamas, but whatever the problem, they make sure they cause problems and unleash havoc. Do you know the type? If you have been dealing with one then you will agree. When you encounter these Baby Mamas? Run, or suffer the consequences.

Here are five examples of Bitter Baby Mamas my explanation of each one.

The Hanger On

This Baby Mama will do anything to get back in a relationship their Baby Daddy. These are the ones that know their BD has moved on. They constantly beg, plead, and freak out on the BD. In an effort to get him back they constantly throw themselves at their BD. They are willing to continue the sexual relationship with him even if he is in another relationship.

This kind of Baby Mama makes it almost impossible for her BD to maintain a new relationship because she constantly makes passes at him especially in front of his new love interest. The good thing is she will usually stop her outlandish behavior once her BD once they themselves find a new boyfriend, but not always.

The Drama Queen

This Baby Mama is super controlling. They use their children as reasons to create drama. They have to know everything that goes on with their BD home or on his visit. They immediately want to know who has been around their children, rather than trust that their BD would not hurt their child or let anyone else for that matter.

They use the court system to harass their BD. They make scenes and make unfounded accusations. They have no qualms about involving family members and often alienate their BD family. They love to cause trouble weather they have a new relationship or not. They thrive on attention and will usually tape conversations or try to record you after baiting you into an argument.

The Dingbat

This is the Baby Mama is always the helpless victim. They need their Baby Daddy to give them advice or swoop in to pay bills. They manipulate with “the damsel in distress act.” They need their BD to change light bulbs, cut the grass and more. They play stupid for pity from others.

They hope that they can guilt their BD into paying for things outside of their allotted child support and always have excuses of why they are helpless. Some are lazy and depend on this act for unneeded support but some really may be clueless. This can be a bigger problem when it comes to co-parenting. If you have a child with a ding bat it can feel like you are their father as well because you may constantly have to instruct them or rescue from problems other grown adults can figure out for themselves.

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side

This Baby Mama regrets breaking up with their BD. She more than likely is not as clingy as The Hanger On, but she does use her BD emotions or lingering fondness for her against him. She is the type to constantly take him down memory lane or have parties and invite their BD and basically pretend as if they are in a relationship but if called out on it, they will never admit it.

They usually have dumped him for a guy that at the time she believed was better only to find out their BD was a really awesome guy. But by this time it is too late, and if he really is a good catch he has moved on and then here she comes, Ms. Grass is Greener on the Other Side, declaring that her BD is the love of her life.

They rather poke their eyes out than to see their BD move on. They know they left a good thing, and don’t mind letting their BD new relationship partner know this. If she has been in a long term relationship with her BD she is probably the one who has a good relationship with his family. She is also the type that when she decides to somewhat move on she will always consider her BD as the one who got away.

The Stalker

This Baby Mama tends to show up everywhere her BD is. Regardless of where it he happens to be, she is there too. It happens way too often to be a coincidence. She may be forthcoming by letting others know she wants to “Pop- up” on her BD. She has a plethora of reasons why and they may or may not come from romantic intent.

She may be jealous that her BD has moved on. She may or may not want to be in a relationship with him. She may want to berate him for failing to provide support for the child, but whatever the reason she doesn’t mind stalking the father of her children.

She is always checking his social media pages and befriending women off his page. She may be the type to swears it is coincidental but it happens so much her BD knows she is doing it on purpose. She also tries to get him to see him to see her as desirable when they do run across her BD. If he has a new girlfriend she will stalk her too.

It doesn’t matter if this Baby Mama is violent or nonviolent you should be alarmed when someone exhibits stalking behavior. There are ways to communicate healthily and intruding on others is not one of them.

Sometimes it helps to have video references to help illustrate a point that is being made. Take a look at this video of what is in my opinion the perfect example of a Bitter Baby Mama.

This woman has enlisted the help of her mother who seems to be the blueprint in which this Baby Mama is destined to follow. I always assumed older women brought peace to situations. This was not the case. And in this climate we live in with tensions between minorities and the police, this Baby Mama and toxic grandmother are mixing a volatile cocktail that could end up with someone being harmed.

(Posted on You Tube by Ronald Smith)

This video has over a million views on You Tube and if you read the comments that are left under it you will see why the video went viral. Many people are outraged about the behavior being shown by the Baby Mama on this video. What is your opinion? Which of the 5 types of Baby Mamas have I mentioned does this Baby Mama resemble? What about the Grandmother, what type of Baby Mama does she resemble?

So, what do I suggest in situations where you encounter a Bitter Baby Mama? If you are the Baby Daddy or his family, try to remember it is stressful to be a single mother. Also don’t always assume the Baby Mama is upset that she is not married or in a relationship with her BD.

In the long run I think it also helps to seek professional help with some parenting situations. Having trouble co-parenting, here is a website I found that may help:

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/co-parenting

What are your thoughts? Ever had the pleasure of meeting a Bitter Baby Mama?

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References:

Single Mother Statistics That Will Blow Your Mind

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_mama

1. The American family today

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